Sunday, August 1, 2010

Are we there yet?

Ever have one of those moments, or maybe days when you just wish you knew where life was leading you? Not mad at your current situation, just wish you knew what the plan was? I have been having a lot of those days lately. I am a planner. I don't like to leave things until the last minute or to chance. In fact I already have started Christmas lists for my kids. I really have a hard time being spontaneous or flying by the seat of my pants. Last minute schedule changes really frustrate me.
So in our current state of household affairs, I am really struggling with not know what is coming next. I actually feel very calm and know that the Lord is in control, that my husband is doing everything he can for the family and grateful that our kids are old enough for me to have the opportunity to work during the hours that they are at school. I am not angry at all or at anyone. In fact this has given us a great opportunity to draw closer to the Lord and each other, to teach our kids the difference between a want and a need and to really live by the promptings of the spirit.
Yet here I am, the planner, struggling with living in the moment and rolling with the waves of life. I don't know what tomorrow will bring because all of the plans that I made yesterday were put aside out of necessity. I don't know where I will be next month let alone next year.
It has been very interesting to be in this place where life is all up in the air, but be calm and at ease, knowing that the Lord has something in store for us, but the time for Him to let us know has not yet come to pass. We love our ward family and at the moment are content to be here and serve where we are needed.
I am so grateful for prayer and scripture that provides peace in a time of turmoil, for kids who are trying to understand and be patient, for leaders and friends who are a constant boon in this time of our life. I am grateful for obedience to principles that have been taught and for the privilege of being able to go to the temple whenever I need or want. I am especially grateful for the tender mercies that the Lord sees fit to send my way when I feel like I am about to give up and give in.