14 years!

Sunday was our 14 year anniversary. Part of me can hardly believe that we have been married that long and the rest of me feels like it seems a lot longer. We have had a lot of ups and downs, laughs and fights, but we have made it this far and keep on going. I see in the news almost every day that some famous couple is getting a divorce. Some have been married just a few years some for decades, but they all seem to act as if marriage is something to just throw away if it doesn't suit you anymore. I know that there are some real justifications for ending a marriage, but most just let go because it takes too much "work". I went into marriage knowing that it would be a lot of work, but if I gave it my all and so did my husband that the good would far out weigh the bad. I remember when I was still single that a friend of my Dad's told me to stop waiting for the knight in shining armor or the house with the white picket fence because they just didn't exist. I told him that I knew that I could have what I wanted because I had faith and knew that I was willing to work for the life that I wanted for my husband and family. I am glad to say that fourteen years later, I still believe that and that I still am working on it. We both are working on it. Life has changed recently for us and that change has made me appreciate the things that Steve has sacrificed to provide for our family. I think that he has learned to appreciate my role in our family as well. It has been humbling for both of us but a good building block for our marriage. You truly can not appreciate what someone else does until you really walk a mile in their shoes. I think that we have come to appreciate those quiet moments that are a rare occurrence more too. Life has been good to us because we have the same goals and the same desires and that is to be together through it all, to spend quality and quantity time with our children and to work hard for the future that we want. It has been a great fourteen years and here's to many times that!


1996

14 years and 4 kids later.

Summer's Here!

I have been on the count down for school to be out so that I could have the freedom to do what I want, when I want. Don't get me wrong, I feel that it was a blessing to be able to work while Steve has been trying to get his business going. I have loved working with the teenagers at Lakeview and I will miss them during the summer. I was also blessed to be asked to go back to the school this fall to work. I must admit though that I missed my little Piggy. Missed picking him up from preschool and having him talk my ear off about all the things he learned that day. Grateful that his Dad got to share in that and enjoy time with his son. Grateful that Steve got to go on field trips with his kids. I am glad that now I can pay attention to my garden, weed my strawberry bed and yes, even fold laundry and do dishes. I am anxious to have some flexibility in my schedule again. The thing that I am most excited for is to be able to cook. I have missed cooking. That is my stress release and I have really been missing it. So bring on summer!

A change!

I have been wanting to do something different with my hair. I have had long layers in it for a couple of years now and I always do the same thing with it which is nothing. It always gets pulled back in a ponytail or a clip. When I was in Oregon this past week, I thought that my sister in law's hair was cute. Steve agreed with me which I thought was funny because he generally does not like shorter haircuts on women and hers was only to about her chin. So since he agreed with me and said it would be okay if I cut mine off, I started looking at shorter hair styles. Now you need to keep in mind that I have very thick, coarse hair that has a lot of wave in it. I knew I wanted layers but also know that if it isn't done just right I can tend to look like I have a ball on my shoulders. I contacted a friend, told her what I wanted and we set an appointment. I was really nervous last night and today, but so ready for a change. I spent about 2 hours online yesterday looking at medium length hair styles, but most of the ones that I liked said that they were suited for fine and thin hair. For me that means that I would end up looking like a puff ball on steroids! I finally found a style I liked and posted it on facebook. I had a friend request a before and after picture. Following are the results of that request.

Before

Can you believe the mop that I have been carrying around. It went to the middle of my back.

After Tessa cut off 10 inches to donate to Locks of Love. Something that I always wanted to do and finally got the chance. Don't think that I was noble and planned the haircut for when my hair was long enough, it was totally by coincidence and I wouldn't have thought about it if she hadn't suggested.

Ready to get down to business. Can you see the wave in the back of my hair?

The After!

I think it is so cute and that I might just want a few more layers in it. I am going to give it a week and see if I still want more layers after I wash it and play with it myself.

Thanks to Tessa who made my day and to Karen for the inspiration and my dad who told me I was starting to look like a grandma for giving me the nerve to make such a change!

Count Your Blessings!

To try and be positive about this jobless situation going on in our home I decided to start writing doworagen the tender mercies that happen every day in our lives. It has really helped and the more I look, the more I find. Some of the blessings that I am grateful for are:
1. my family
2. my religion
3. my friends
4. others who help my children feel important too
5. vehicles that run well
6. my health
7. a roof over my head
8. a severance package
9. being able to work
10. Food storage

So when life gets you down, start counting your blessings instead of your wishes and it will lighten your load!

Now which way is up?

I am currently feeling a little upside down and backwards. We have had a major change in the last couple of days and I am feeling like I am grasping at air and been turned on my head. Steve on the other hand seems to be very calm. I, however, am having a hard time remembering who is in ultimate control of my life and this universe. I always run at full speed trying to take care of everything and everyone. I don't deal well with situations that are out of my control. I have a hard time letting others, including the Lord be in control, especially when it is my life involved.

On Thursday I was sitting on my bed folding laundry and watching a movie. Sidnee and Jaxon were home. I heard the garage door open which was really odd because I thought the kids were playing on the computer. My first thought was that Jaxon got mad at Sidnee so he was running away. (He runs away more often then I care to admit) I peeked out to see what was going on and Steve was home. Strange to say the least. I went out to see what was up and he pointed to his eyes because he was talking on his phone. He quickly got off and informed me that he had been laid off! I thought he was joking. He had been to the eye doctor and had his eyes dilated. I was thinking that they had sent him home because he couldn't see to read. When I saw all the stuff from his desk in some boxes in his car I was pretty sure that he was not joking now! My world came crumbling down on the top of my head! How were we going to pay for our home, let alone food, and all the necessities that you need to sustain life as you know it? So many things ran through my brain in a short matter of time. We really didn't get much time to talk as his phone kept ringing off the hook. Apparently the decision was made outside of Utah by someone who was just looking at numbers. His company made 7 layoffs that day across their offices in the country, so it was not like someone had it out for Steve. He got laid off, not fired, so they gave him a severance package that should last us through the end of June. What amazes me the most is how calm and sure Steve is about the whole thing. He is very positive where I am the one usually reassuring him. He is sure that there is a better job out there that he would not have found if he was still at E-Trade. I on the other hand am a bundle of stress. I am wondering what is going to happen if he doesn't find a job in this market before we run out of money. There are so many people losing jobs right now that I am really struggling with this. I know that I need to stop climbing the walls and just do what I can about the things that I can. I can clean my house. I can paint the walls. I can get ready to plant my garden. I can put more food in our food storage in case it takes longer than June to get a job. I can continue fulfilling my calling and being a part of my community. Hopefully I can figure out in the mean time, and I will emphasize the word MEAN, how to turn myself right side up!

Fantastic!

I love the little moments that you get once in a while with your children that just make your day. I got one tonight when everyone was complaining about dinner. Jaxon was the only one who was not complaining. Our conversation went like this.
Jaxon: "Mom this chicken is fantastic! That means really good, right?"
Me: " Yes Jaxon, fantastic means really good."
Jaxon: "Well I think this chicken is fantastic and they are all wrong. It is so fantastic that I would like some more please."
Me: "I am glad that you think it is fantastic and I would love to give you more."
Jaxon: "Thanks for the fantastic chicken Mom! I really like it because I am a hungry boy!"

Don't you just love it when they make your day like that. Of course by this time the other kids were giggling and decided to eat the "Fantastic Chicken" which is what I think we will call this dish from now on!

Falling down or apart?

this picture is similar to what I had to have done to me yesterday. I almost fell out of a tree in September. I caught myself with my right arm and had to hang there in order to not crush Jaxon who was playing beneath me. Needless to say, it caused some damage to my right arm. I have been having pins and needles ever since. There has also been some numbness. I let it go because I thought that it would eventually get better. When I saw some blood on my hand about a month ago and discovered that I had smashed my finger but not felt it because my hand was numb. So after a month of visiting a variety of doctors, the final verdict is that I have 2 bulging disks in my neck that are pressing down on nerves and causing the pain. Yesterday I had a cervical nerve root block done. They insert a needle through your neck to the nerve root in your spine and put a steroid in it. This is similar to a cortisone shot, but a little more of a process. They have to use an xray machine to guide a needle to the right spot. A little scary especially when they told me to hold still so that they didn't hit the main artery that is right there. The procedure wasn't as bad as I expected, but once the numbing wore off I was miserable. Today I feel like someone has jumped up and down on my neck and head. I am told that it will get better, but today I think I would rather have the pins and needles. The bad news? I have one more disk that the doctor wants to do this to.